I'm going home (parent's home? That state where I grew up in?) for Thanksgiving in less than a week. Just today I finally started to get excited about that. In undergrad, I used to get seriously antsy about going home, so much so that the last week before I got to go I was a little spazzy. I was especially ready to go home after being in Spain. This time, it's the longest I've been away, and other than missing my sister constantly, I haven't really needed to go home.
Now I am actually looking forward to it, which is good, and I know I'll have a good time. But, I have the same problem I keep having because I keep moving: I miss there while I'm here, and am going to miss here while I'm there. I mean, no, I do not like this city. But I know I'll miss my boyfriend, and my apartment, and my cat, and my normal routine here. It was like that after Spain. I finally got really attached to the place, and then I left, and no matter where I was I missed Spain and either school or home. I can't maintain that level of missing, so I don't miss everything - Spain, school, and home, all at once, but there is definitely some amount of missage for each one. I suppose this is normal for anyone who lives different places. But, I wonder if I will eventually have so many connections I will stop feeling connected to some places.
For one thing, it is definitely interesting how I'm comfortable-ish here now, instead of constantly wanting to leave. It's definitely not my ideal, and if I can do something about it I would prefer not to stay too long. But, it is "home" enough now that saying I'm going home for Thanksgiving is a little confusing. Where is home?
1 comment:
I am sorry to report that this doesn't get easier as you get older and just add more and more places that qualify as home-esque. But it is bittersweet -- sad to always be missing places and people, but also happy that you get to go back to some of them sometimes.
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